My favourite things about Cambodians

In my previous post I spoke about cultural clashes. I want to remind you that they are not reasons I look down on Khmer people, but rather where our cultural values conflict. Neither is right or wrong; it’s dependent on whose perspective you see it from. Also, there’s a propensity to see only the differences, and more often than not, the negative ones. I love Cambodia and its people. Yes, there are times when that’s tested more than usual, but I still try and celebrate Cambodians and enjoy living here. So here are things I love about Cambodian culture.

The joy

Cambodians are famous for their friendliness, their laughter, their smiles. Their parties are loud and exuberant. Things are colourful. Their chatter playful. They love games and silliness, even as adults.

The word for play is leng /leːŋ/ លេង. It’s often attached to other words to suggest an element of fun or relaxation:

  • daer leng /ɗaᵊ leːŋ/- to go out for fun (to walk + to play)
  • niyiey leng /niʔjiᵊj leːŋ/- to joke or tease (to speak + to play)
  • angkoy leng /ɑŋkoj leːŋ/ -to sit and relax (to sit + to play)
  • keng leng /keːŋ leːŋ/- to nap (to sleep + to play)

Celebrations, such as weddings and other festivals, are bright, loud affairs. There are games and food and drinks. Cambodians love to laugh and joke and play.

The hospitality

Hospitality in the UK and hospitality in Cambodia is somewhat different. (If you want to see how this difference caused me reverse culture shock read my post melamine plates.) It’s slightly more relaxed (those not used to it would say chaotic) than in the UK. It’s far more easy-come easy-go (like much of Cambodian life, it seems). There’s a vague arrival time and people turn up and plates of food appear.

The welcome is always warm (although sometimes a bit shy and nervous around foreigners) and the beer is always on ice. The cheers “juol muoy!” happens regularly. Basically, any time someone goes to have a swig of beer, you have to clink glasses with everyone then every takes a good swig of their glass, often drain it entirely.

There seems to be an endless conveyor belt of food. There are multiple dishes, ranging from soups, seafood, snails, bbq meat, stir fried greens and, of course, rice. It’s a relaxed affair and you just sit eating. This can go on all day. During this time, neighbours, friends, family, passing acquaintances will be invited in or appear and eat then go. There’s a lot of greeting and farewelling or others popping to the nearby store to pick up another case of beers.

There can be (very loud) music and karaoke and children playing.

This hospitality is more casual than in the UK. There are no napkins (maybe some tissues to wipe your fingers), you can use fingers or lettuce leaves or chopsticks or spoons to eat with, there are few manners to worry about. The karaoke doesn’t matter on the prowess of your singing voice. (This can make it entertaining for all sorts of reasons.) This is the type of hospitality I love. Hospitality that is devoid of social barriers such as etiquette (etiquette is always designed to divide people between social status, so think about that when you next tell your child to take their elbows off the table) and special talents. You come, you eat, you sing. It is hospitality designed to welcome.

The bonds

Cambodians can be naturally shy and a bit hesitant with foreigners, but once you are in, you are very much in.

Social networks are important in Cambodia, and often the connections made can be long lasting and strong. Also, when you’ve made a strong friendship with others, you adopt many of their connections as well. There’s a concept of bong-p’oun. This little means older and younger siblings, but it really refers to your circle of close friendships and family members. There’s a sense of responsibility to care and look out for those in this circle. It’s a tight, reciprocal bond.

I’ve been seen grateful for the connections and friendships I’ve been able to make. There’s a definite sense that I have a collection of people who have my back and will care for me whatever happens.

The Cambodia Bucket List

Cambodia is such an amazing country. I’m so privileged to live here and there’s so much to experience. I’ve achieved so much already.

These are the things I’ve managed to achieve so far:

  • Visit Angkor National park
    • See Angkor Wat
    • See the Elephant Terrace
    • Go to Angkor Thom
    • Find the dinosaur at Ta Prom
  • Visit the floating villages on the Tonle Sap
  • Visit the Koh Ker Temples
  • Visit Preah Vihear
  • Visit Oudong Mountain
  • Go to Mondulkiri
    • See Bousra Waterfall
  • Go to Kampot
  • Go to Rabbit Island
  • Eat at the crab market in Kep
  • Eat taurantula
  • Eat prahok
  • Celebrate Khmer New Year at Angkor Was and Pub Street
  • Go rice planting
  • Explore a lot of Phnom Penh, including
    • Eat dessert at Phsar Toul Tompong
    • Eat lunch at Phsar Thmei
    • Shop at Phsar Orussey
    • Go to the night market
    • Head to Bassac Lane
    • Have a cocktail on the top of Phnom Penh tower
    • Ridden a ride on Diamond Island
  • Go to Tuol Sleng and Chhoeung Ek
  • Go to the Royal Palace
  • Go on 3 boat trips on the Mekong
  • Visit Silk Island
  • Go to 8 weddings
  • (I’ve also been to two funerals, but I don’t really count them as achievements as people had to die for that to happen.)
  • Watch the Cambodian football team play at the Olympic Stadium

However, there is still a lot I want to do:

  • Do a Khmer cooking class
  • Take part in a Khmer music class
  • Have a lesson on how to do the monkey dance or the coconut dance (I’m under no illusion I will be good at it)
  • Watch a puppet show
  • Visit Kulen Mountain
  • Visit Kirirom Mountain
  • Go to the islands near Sihanoukville
  • Visit Battambang
    • Go to the bat caves
    • Ride the bamboo train
  • See the dolphins at Kratie
  • Go to Rattanakiri
  • Stay in the Cardamom Mountains and go nature spotting.
  • Find local Khmer restaurants that do the best food.

What else do you suggest? What things have I not included in my list?